Fazuki's Doom of Slush - script

Jordan Tyler-Love                                      22.1.18- 31.1.18
Fazuki's Doom of Slush
Based on characters created by: J.T. Love 

Fazuki is inspired by Ice Age , particularly Scrat, even though Fazuki is a prehistoric toucan. Also inspired by Early Man and other stone age projects. 

Duration: 2 minutes 40 seconds. 

Scene #1: Fazuki leaves his stone cave. 
FAZUKI: Se fue a cenar. Volveré dos horas. 

Fazuki cuddles his future child in its nest and heads out to scrounge for food. While he cannot fly, he runs thoroughly and steadfast. He uses his beak to sniff out the scent. 

(Didgeridoo call)

FAZUKI: Doik! Durk! ¿Qué diablos pasa en Trafalgar y Pizom? ¡ no puedo oler!

(Stampede)

Fazuki sniffs out the rest of the trail, only for him to find out that a tribe of cavepeople, were taking over the animals' leisure preserve as their home. 

PATRIARCH LEADER: Jazukmun billa sewmallio de guzzijulaa. Mucha pater banama doros aqui sol laers dara seem? 

CAVEMAN #1: Seem onna sol cavo. Illamao goro haw tomahawk herculle. 

PATRIARCH LEADER: C'est et le corezzo. Pater banama mucha c'est donnam baauk. 

(CAVEPEOPLE cheering) 

PATRIARCH LEADER: Illoma resiil? Illoma yeafil? Go! 

CAVEPEOPLE: Huh? 

They spot Fazuki, who is among mad at the leader and his tribe. 

FAZUKI: ¿Qué estás haciendo en nuestra reserva? ¡ Esto no es correcto! ¡ Debes irte inmediatamente!

(CAVEPEOPLE LAUGHING) 

CAVEWOMAN #1: Yellas doras no juemo c'est corezzo et le rashanimi!

PATRIARCH LEADER: U'rk jost yakk dareos. He'st gaddam heem! Torosheeto ras Jammaos!

CAVEPEOPLE: Torosheeto ras Jammaos!

The patriarch leader and his tribe prepare to fight and chase after Fazuki. 

(FAZUKI screaming)

CAVEWOMAN #2: Undu gatta! 

CAVEWOMAN #1: Gaddam heem! 

(Fazuki continues screaming) 

PATRIARCH LEADER: Me gullamo szee heem! Oddah shara!

CAVEMAN #3: Yeef? Soro nada si Fazzi. Fazzi no morreo! 

The patriarch leader and tribe realize that Fazuki has disappeared and that they are lost. 

Scene #2: Fazuki Gets Help 

Meanwhile, Fazuki falls down a gopher/mole hole and asks a gopher for directions.

FAZUKI: Disculpa, pero ¿Dónde estoy?

(GOPHER chittering)

Fazuki carried on, as well as finding a way out by using the tip of his beak to dig his way out. 

(FAZUKI grunting)

Fazuki does not realize that he has dug up more than he can peck, as he has ended up on an icy cliff. Icicles begin to fall down on him. 

FAZUKI: ¡Porque! (Screaming) 

He slides down the cliff, then falls off of it.

(FAZUKI continues screaming) 

He then lands on a frozen solid rink-y path. Hard and painfully. 

FAZUKI: Doik! D'oh! Do-ho-hoo! 

DIATRYMA WIFE: Excuse me, sir. Are you all right? 

FAZUKI: ¡ Hay cavernícolas de la nada que se apoderan de nuestra tierra y preservan! ¡ Tienes que venir conmigo! Favor! ¡ Te lo ruego! Ahora!

DIATRYMA HUSBAND: You're crazy, mac! We don't have time for this! Come on, honey. 

DIATRYMA WIFE: I hope you find what you're looking for. 

FAZUKI: Tienes que venir conmigo. ¡ Hay cavernícolas que se apoderan de nuestra reserva! ¡Vamos!

FERZILINGARIA WIFE: Are you sure there are cavepeople, sir? 

FAZUKI: Mi frijoles. ¡ Claro que las hay!

FERZILINGARIA HUSBAND: Don't listen to him, dear. I'd give half a mind to scrunch his beak! We don't make eye contact. Ta-ta! Come on, dear. 

FAZUKI: ¡ Tú, Iguanodon! ¡ Tienes que creer me! ¡ Aquí hay cavernícolas!

IGUANODON: Ah, go on with ya. You bother me. 

(FAZUKI moans incompetently) 

AARDVARK: Sorry, dude. Can't help you. 

CHASMOSAURUS: Will you please leave me alone?! I'm trying to eat my plants here! 

MAMMOTH: For the last time, there are no cavepeople here. Now be on your way. It is time to store food. There is a storm coming! Go on, be off with ya! You feather-bellied idiot! 

FAZUKI: ¡ Por favor, Señor, tiene que creer me! ¡ Realmente hay cavernícolas aquí! ¡ Todos tienen que creer me! Favor! ¡ No entiendes! ¡ Nuestra tierra será demolida si no lo haces!

MAMMOTH: I said, beat it! Stupid bird! 

FAZUKI: ¡Pero, señor! Esto es terrible. Serio!

Scene #3. Fazuki sits in an unsafe corner.

FAZUKI: ¡ Mi vida ha terminado! ¡ Mi edad ha terminado! ¡ No tengo nada! (Screams, then bursts into tears, sobbing)

Scene #4. The Patriarch Leader and the cavepeople tribe on the hunt for Fazuki. As they tremble through the preserve, they find the others instead. A velociraptor looks puzzled. 

VELOCIRAPTOR: Sufferin' succotash! Cavemen! 

PATRIARCH LEADER: Shakumba me, tyloam! Shakumba me! 

CAVEWOMAN #4: Withan ako, pati, Gruben c'est lamborga shunni dalkko. 

PATRIARCH LEADER: Watta?! 

CAVEWOMAN #2: Avec, pati! Gaddam zieveet!

PATRIARCH LEADER: Serekamba, Wisha, Sol, Gaddam animali uddaw zvere! 

CAVEMAN #2: Que sallida uno we?

CAVEMAN #4: Macqsea, sallida uno we?

PATRIARCH LEADER: Gaddam Fazuki! Naaw threek! Immediawetyosol! Avec! 

(CAVEPEOPLE whooping in anger) 

Meanwhile, the Velociraptor went over to the other animals to warn them that the cavepeople are in the village and that Fazuki was right. 

VELOCIRAPTOR: Guys, guys! Cavepeople! Here! Run, now!

IGUANODON: The Fazi was right. I feel bad. 

AARDVARK: We're all gonna die! 

CHASMOSAURUS (to the Mammoth): Hey, you! Use your trunk to get that bird's signal. 

MAMMOTH: Aye, aye, sir! Company halt! (TRUMPETS TRIUMPHANTLY)

Meanwhile, back at the unsafe corner. Fazuki had stopped crying and heard the mammoth's trumpet. 

FAZUKI:¡ Es el mamut llamándome! ¡ Los animales están en problemas! ¡ Tengo que ir a rescatarlos!

Fazuki runs as fast as he can, to get out of the crumby rock back to the preserve, to save his former enemies and defend them from his current enemies. He arrives there and animals look scared. 

DIATRYMA WIFE: Oh, honey. We're really sorry. Tell him, dear! 

DIATRYMA HUSBAND: Yeah, really sorry. 

FERZILINGARIA HUSBAND: Yeah, me too, mac! 

AARDVARK: Me too, dude. You gotta save us! I don't wanna be cavepeople food! 

PATRIARCH LEADER (leans next to Fazuki): Una ghawr c'est bwalka fwala no we nooto, Fazi? 

FAZUKI: ¡Dios mío! ¡Déjame ir!

PATRIARCH LEADER: GADDAM HEEM! Aveet Gorow! 

MAMMOTH: Run, fellas, run! 

CAVEWOMAN #3: Ye tri dwe no! Yaas fomfdo yike me! 

(CHASMOSAURUS ROARING)

CAVEMAN #2: Yaa d'aen scark me! 

PATRIARCH LEADER: Geev dappi, bwoid! 

Fazuki couldn't stand his friends and the animals' land being demolished. He definitely did not like the cavepeople perpetrating their lives. Fazuki has had it. This meant war, it was either his way or no way! 

FAZUKI: Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgh! Hi-ya! (karate sounds)

CAVEWOMAN *1: Uh, pati, les animali fericiew angour.

PATRIARCH LEADER: Deemas nada scark me! Yadda seroi voik! Alight! 

CAVEMEN *1 & *2: Animalis las Toqueres! Animalis las Toqueres!

The prehistoric animals began to charge as the other cavepeople (except for the Patriarch leader) began to shiver and quiver with a little hither and thither. 

MAMMOTH: Forward march! Company, attack!

PTERODACTYLUS: Aye, aye, sir! Wings equipped, presented and accounted for, sir! 

VELOCIRAPTOR: Stomach stones, presented and accounted for, sir! 

MAMMOTH: Company, ready, aim, FIRE! 

IGUANODON: Thumb claws comin' at ya, Neanderthals! 

CAVEWOMAN #1 (Notices the Iguanodon has his claws scratching her while chasing her.): No tata! No tata! Shlow me ryuno! 

(CAVEWOMAN screaming, then lands in mud.)

PTERODACTYLUS: Score 90 for the Pterosaur! Dude, I am in pursuit! (Drops a caveman, and the caveman screams)

CAVEWOMAN #2: Bwak Bwak bar Bwak Bwak! Yeem uinh lore me. Unoerois gormithia! C'est le muddio! 

The aardvark sniffs behind the second cavewoman's back to see if there were ants in that skinned rug. She screams.

AARDVARK: I knew there were ants in that rug, dudette. Get back here! I'm starving!

(CAVEWOMAN #2 continues screaming)

AARDVARK: Aw, man!

The first two cavepeople were about to roast and devour the Diatrymas and Ferzilingarias. The first one sneaks under the Ferzilingaria Wife to see if milk would come out of her udder. 

CAVEMAN #1: Aveet, c'est kola milka! Milka starravochi! Gomve me sal milka!

(FERZILINGARIA WIFE mooing)

FERZILINGARIA HUSBAND: Get your primitive, I say, get your primitive paws off of her. Ya interloping snake in the grass! 

CAVEMAN #1 (to Caveman #2): C'est yust har! Gaddam heem!

FERZILINGARIA HUSBAND: All right, you sharper, y'all is about to get blasted! (Grunts like a bull)

CAVEMAN #1 (to Caveman #2): Yaalveet! (Both screaming)

DIATRYMA HUSBAND: Thanks guys. We were about to be caveman chow! 

FERZILINGARIA HUSBAND: Ah, y'all, I say, y'all would've done the same for me, boy. 

MAMMOTH (to Chasmosaurus and Iganodon): Company, self defence! 

CHASMOSAURUS: I was born to bronco with my horns! 

IGUANODON: Thumbs up again, right back at ya, Cavepeople!

CAVEMAN #4: Mama! (Screaming, as he retreats) 

CAVEWOMAN #3: Teit breaight goro, salvina imbeliciae! Olo shallo trio! 

CHASMOSAURUS: Where does yas think you're goin'? 

CAVEWOMAN #3: Alaveet! Alaveet! (Tells the rest of the tribe to retreat, all screaming.) 

PATRIARCH LEADER: Yaoleeks! Asu naugbt zeem? 

The Patriarch leader realizes the rest of the tribe fled from him and that 12 against 1 is not fair, and he also realized he could not fight on his own. 

FAZUKI: No tienes un equipo con quien pelear, ¿verdad? Sabes lo que esto significa, ¿no? ¡ Compañeros animales, ataquen! (Fazuki makes ninja sounds, the others follow him.)

MAMMOTH: Sir, yes sir! 


FAZUKI: Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgh! Hi-ya! 


PATRIARCH LEADER: Fazi, tu resonobli! Staip! Milp! Mommy! Yaaaaaaaaaaah! (Continues screaming)


The patriarch leader runs as fast as he could, back to the other side, where neither he, or the other cavepeople were heard from again. 

Scene #5.  The prehistoric animals were having a congratulation party, to award Fazuki for his bravery, and his heroism. 

MAMMOTH: Fazuki, for your bravery and honor. You have done a great service. I dub thee, Fazuki of the Isle of Gormithia! Hip, hip -

ANIMALS: Hooray! 

MAMMOTH: Hip, hip -

ANIMALS: Hooray! 

MAMMOTH: Hip, hip -

ANIMALS: Hooray! 

FAZUKI: ¡ Muchas gracias, mi amigos ! Estoy eternamente agradecida y les deseo toda la Gormithian vez un largo siglo!

NARRATOR (in Canadian accent): And so Fazuki was now a warrior toucan, he was more braver, he sometimes still in his meek self. He enjoyed his time. And later as he went home, the animals continue to support. The Gormithian times was a good piece of the Stone Age. And they lived happily ever after. 

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